Reborn

I think getting into the spirit of creating a blog to record my dreams snapped my unconscious into doing something incredible. I had the most vivid dream last night (or, this morning I suppose). I fell asleep at about 1am and woke up at 3am exactly with a dream that felt like it had gone ages. Let me recount it for you.

I am in a non-descript room. It simply has four walls and random possessions littered among it. Are they mine? I don't know. However, suddenly the entire room breaks apart, and I plummet into a watery abyss positioned somehow below this room. I begin to sink immediately among the wreckage of the now-destroyed room. I know I am doomed. I inhale water in panic, and know I'm going to drown. I prepare for my inevitable death.

Suddenly, I am pulled from the water by an unknown savior. But am I really saved? I wake up, in the dream, to find myself severely mentally incapacitated, brain damaged somehow by my near-drowning, as I finish living as a drooling, mentally retarded mess of a person around other people. I vaguely remember being teased by a cruel man and doing things for him to the best of my ability, like fetching him a drink. I have absolutely no control of my body but feel every droop of my face, the drool falling from my open mouth across my lips. I'm a pathetic excuse of a human being and wish I had died rather than suffer this.

Suddenly I find myself in the room again. It looks exactly the same before it broke apart, and I am normal again. However, as before, the room breaks apart again and I plummet into the water again. The whole scene reminds me of deja vu as I nearly drown, am rescued, and live the rest of my life as the creature I was before.

Again, I find myself in the room. This exact scene plays over and over in exact sequence for what seems like dozens of times. I perhaps spent an eternity reliving everything in that short span of time.

Finally, after perhaps the hundredth time, no one saves me as the room breaks apart. I am pulled into the abyss as the debris creates an undercurrent. I attempt to fight the current but it is a losing battle. I am exhausted, and accept my fate. With much reluctance and fear, although ready, I give up and voluntarily inhale the water into my lungs. It's as terrible as I expected, and my lungs fill with water as my body gasps and convulses in hope for air, but finds none. Soon I have sunk to the bottom of this strange body of water, and am still alive, but dying. Finally, hoping to rid myself of the torture and pain of drowning, I inhale and release the last bit of air, and expire.

I wake up, in the dream again, and am standing in the grass in front of a sidewalk. Chad stands there, as if he were waiting for me. Notices me. A huge, friendly, excited smile crosses his face as he runs towards me.

"You did it? Finally?" he asks in excitement. Chad is dead, like me. I know this somehow.

I nod.

"Sancti?" he says incredulously. "Me too! I can't believe you got it! Well, I guess in your case, it's Sancta," he adds, noting the feminine placement.

He leads me towards a place at the end of the sidewalk with what looks like several life-sized mobiles (you know, like those things that hang above baby cribs?), all suspended in mid-air, each mobile a different color and dangling with different shapes.

"Now you have to choose one," Chad says, indicating the mobiles.

I notice that each shape represents something. I see a blue one that says (in magical floating text) "Guidance." Do these shapes represent reincarnation? I wonder. I know that these representations are what fit us most and it is what we are tasked to do to the living but I do not know the details of how.

Chad informs me that my sister, Laura, failed to receive the title of Sanctus, and therefore was not eligible to follow this esteemed path. I do not know where she is now, or if she exists at all anymore.

My friend Stacey sees me and Chad. She is not dead. Immediately I realize that I can see everything about her. How old she is, her habits, little details- but most importantly, how many days she has left before her demise. I know that this is some unwritten code to keep that detail a secret, but as she has plenty of days left to live, I make a joke to Chad about our ability to see such things and not be able to do anything about it. Stacey does not look amused at this fact as we laugh about it. The dream ends in a light, happy tone after this, and I wake up, feeling like the top of the world.